How do you actually work on self love?

When I googled how to work on self-love I got generalized answers like forgiving yourself for past mistakes, stopping comparing yourself to others, trusting yourself, being more selfish... and after reading these things I am thinking how the heck is that really supposed to help me. I need a real explanation and plan on how to work on these things. And found myself feeling frustrated. But when I sat and thought about it some more I thought well how can I actually work on these things in my own life and began thinking based on these tips what should I specifically do I thought well I could spend more time alone doing things I enjoy so I can stop waiting to do them with other people for example. As to work on no longer being codependent. Or Acknowledge my hurt by saying out loud that I want to or forgive myself by tolerating/allowing someone to treat me less than I deserve. Acknowledging the hurt from my biological father who was the first man who ever broke my heart and my trust when he violated my body. And acknowledging the hurt that continues to bleed into my adult relationships by allowing people into my personal life who don't appreciate or respect me. Although I learned within my spiritual journey that I had to forgive him for myself. I still feel as though he doesn't deserve my forgiveness (which will be its own blog post-Inshaallah (God willing)) And acknowledging how heavy these feelings can be is scary so I fill my calendar, fill my personal life, or become codependent with Instagram, Partner intimacy/ other people's problems, or intoxicants in order to not feel these feelings.

The first step is acknowledging the hurt and being self-reflective and brutally honest with yourself.

I am no longer okay with just being toxic and allowing these things that happened years ago to affect me today. And am making an honest commitment to working on these things so that I can be a better version of myself for myself first. And then be better to the people I care about.

And to address the question what I am learning is that there is no real answer. It's a journey. And it can be uncomfortable but I am blessed to persevere just like a sunflower.